Ever seen a taiser? Better yet been shocked by one?

[Ryder]

Well I was looking through another forum I use waiting for a reply when I stumbled upon this...twas a great laugh....I recommend reading it....

Originally Posted by Some other forum poster...

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this :

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife.What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

Awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Betty what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Was I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would
shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a
fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head ****ed to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to
give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION *(&*&%^%$(@#^&$^!

I'm pretty sure Giant Haystacks ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over
me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your
hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

[ExaSpidey]

THAT is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I could stop laughing. I'm almost tempted to do it myself if there wasn't the whole "self-preservation" thing in the back of my mind. ROFL

[bamhm182]

I know how to make one, my brother and I are going to go to the store and get some disposable cameras tomorrow! :P

Check it out. Make A Tazer!

It made that dude bleed.

EDIT: The camera is more than likely no where near as strong as that though.

Man, that's FUNNY, DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN!!

[ExaSpidey]

That's nice and all, but not enough to take someone out. The most it will do is **** someone off more. And you really only have enough time for one good shock. If this is some kind of way to fend off a bully.....then my friend you have earned your beating. :P

[Constantine]

lol no it's fun for practical jokes, not actual self defense.

Constantine

[bamhm182]

:lol: I wouldn't expect it to make someone like fall to the ground or something, like Constantine said, it's meant for a practical joke, but it'd still HURT I bet.

[ReliefMe]

Did anyone see that show Armed and Famous? Celebrity cops training in IN. In Indiana, if you carry a taser, you must be tased at least once because being allowed to carry. So the first episodes all the celebrities were getting tasered and freaking out, and La Toya Jackson fainted.

I know it's on You Tube. I would NEVER want to be tasered. Bad enough accidentally electrocuting yourself trying to turn on a light switch in the dark with a switch with a missing face plate. (twice! )

[bamhm182]

I've done that sooooo many times, you can't flip a switch in my aunt's house without getting a jolt.

I tried building the tazer, I shocked myself about 5 times and than it wasn't even the right type of camera. One time I couldn't let go of, it was waving my hand like a maniac until it quit shocking me.:lol:

[Kernel Kev]

I would prefer a baseball bat as a method of self defence myself, rather than a disposable camera, both cost about the same aswell :lol:



Kev
8)

[Constantine]

Ohh, we saw a guy walking down the street with a baseball bat looking like he had some business to attend to the other day. It was quite freaky.

It was on the stab-you-in-the-spleen side of town.

Constantine