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#1 (permalink) |
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Former 12th Squad Captian
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US History Review
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' " She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?" Again, no response, except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!" She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!" "Who sai d that?" she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836." At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!" Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're in BIG trouble now!" Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003." Finally someone throws a eraser at Pedro, someone shouted "Duck"! The teacher asked "Who said that? Pedro "**** Cheney 2006!" |
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#2 (permalink) |
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Administrator / Grim Reaper
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bedfordshire, England.
Posts: 2,920
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US History? I didn't realise there was any :wink:
__________________
"Children are smarter than any of us. How do I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children." - Bill Hicks.
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#5 (permalink) |
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Da Management
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History is something that goes back a little further than a mere few hundred years.... England is steeped in history. I have graffeti in Pompey older than American history....
As for the dental plan jibe... sorry that were not as superficial than some countries... No body said squeeky clean either but in our long history we F#cked up a fair number of times... I wonder what the raio would be between the States and the UK on F#ck ups based on History. Des :roll: |
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#7 (permalink) | |
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Administrator / Grim Reaper
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bedfordshire, England.
Posts: 2,920
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Quote:
My joking remark wasn't about how clean the history was but rather about the quantity. English history goes back thousands of years. American history can barely break 300 and consists mainly of Cowboys and Elvis Presley (that's a joke BTW). Oh, and let's not forget the majority of American ancestors come from the UK and Ireland anyway.
__________________
"Children are smarter than any of us. How do I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children." - Bill Hicks.
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#8 (permalink) |
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PSP-Forum Demi-God
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Elvis Presely blew then, and he blows now. And as for the ancestry comment, they come here because they can't get what they want/need in those places.
Now let's stop bickering like old people so we don't completely f-up another thread. Constantine
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#9 (permalink) | |
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Administrator / Grim Reaper
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bedfordshire, England.
Posts: 2,920
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Quote:
Let's move on.
__________________
"Children are smarter than any of us. How do I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children." - Bill Hicks.
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#10 (permalink) |
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Da Management
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Hey me too..... :lol:
Actually Constantine the History of WWII is not something the Americans should be jumping up and down about really... just check out some non-flag waving history books and you will see. As for your rather absurd comment you will also read that, as per usual, the American government did nothing to help anyone until it effected them commercially... bailing the rest of the world out is a stupid thing to have said and you have disappointed me for saying it. Des :roll: |
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