?Ever Wonder?

[DrunkAuron]

Hope this makes you smile......
EVER WONDER...

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

.....why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

.....why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?





...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soa! p." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American ! Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."



On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


On the tag of a reversible jacket: "Wash inside-out" (which way would that be??...)

Ohh how I love this CRAP :lol:

[DrunkAuron]

That second to last one Is gold :lol:

[Mr Hankey]

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

not in Sweden dude, might have been in Norway though :mrgreen:

Ohh how I love this CRAP :lol:

me too, I love irony and stupid things like these

[asph]

drunkauron i just love your thread xDDDDDDDD
so funny xD

[Megaman]

...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
:lol: Ooohhh, my genitals!

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
Hmm... sounds like engrish.

Well they don't make the airplane from the material of the black box because of cost, weight, and a whole lot of things. Do I get my prize now?

[The Juggler]

Many mant thanks for posting these... I gigled all the way through them.



Des


:roll:

[DrunkAuron]

8) Well they don't make the airplane from the material of the black box because of cost, weight, and a whole lot of things. Do I get my prize now? [/quote]

:roll: Yeah U get the satisfactory of knowing that you took these things too seriously and didn't let them be funny,cus they are and I lov'em. :wink:

Yeah I'll be sure to put some more rhetorical questions later :wink:

[Agomae]

Nope,i never wonder i just let things be

[Agomae]

Originally Posted by asph

drunkauron i just love your thread xDDDDDDDD
so funny xD

what the hell does xDDDDDDDDDD mean?

[THSshorty13]

:lol: Great thread. Laughed all the way through.