Girls Version
>
>
>Dear Tech Support:
>
>Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
>slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and
>Jewellery applications, that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
>
>In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
>as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable
>programs such as AFL 5.0 and NRL 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no
>longer runs and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
>
>I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail!
>
>What can I do?!
>
>Desperate
>
>
>Answer from Technical:
>
>Dear Desperate:
>
>First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
>Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I
>THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.
>
>If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
>applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember overuse can
>cause husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
>Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly WAV files.
>Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another
>Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
>Husband 1.0.
>
>In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
>memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
>buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
>personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
>
>Good Luck,
>
>Tech Support
>
>
>************************************************* **************
>
>The Guy's Version
>
>Dear (IT) Technical Support:
>
>I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0
>to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child
>processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This
>wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
>
>In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
>launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.
>Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5 and Golf 5.3 no longer run and
>crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday
>Rugby
>6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead.
>
>I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to
>run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to
>Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.
>
>Can you please help?
>
>Joe
>
>
>Answer From Technical Support
>
>
>Dear Joe,
>
>This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding.
>
>Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0
>is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
>SYSTEM
>- designed by its creator to run everything.
>
>You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
>Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is
>impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
>system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0
>or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual
>under alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees).
>
>Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and
>deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or
>problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the
>C:\I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key.
>
>It may be necessary to run: C:\I APOLOGISE a number of times but
>hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife
>1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding.
>
>To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as
>Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install
>Secretary (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application
>for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
>
>Regards,
>
>Technical Support
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